


Miyuki vs Fire Nation

by Elliethefroggy



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Basically Miyuki has an off day and decides to take it out on the Fire Nation, Canon Compliant, Gen, I don't know when it happens before this episode, I'm going to go and say that it is canon because there's no proof otherwise, Pre-Episode: s01e13 The Blue Spirit, but it's definitely before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elliethefroggy/pseuds/Elliethefroggy
Summary: Miyuki had been having a perfectly fine day. The sun was shining, there were no inconvenient clouds dotting the sky and she was moments away from enjoying her favourite plum blossom meal. It was all perfect.Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation came.This is the story of Miyuki's journey towards vengeance and how she made the Fire Nation pay for what it had done to her.(Also knows as Colonel Shinu's very bad, no good week)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28





	Miyuki vs Fire Nation

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, in episode 15 of season 1 of Atla, when Zuko confronts the herbalist, the herbalist turns to Miyuki, the cat, and asks if Miyuki got in trouble with the Fire Nation _again_. And that led me to wonder what Miyuki had previously done to the Fire Nation. Therefore, this story was created.
> 
> Also thank-you to my friend for encouraging me to write this fic and for reading it before I posted it.

Miyuki did not consider herself to be a very vindictive creature, though some might disagree. She did not consider herself too petty, just the normal amount of petty. On a whole, she thought herself to be both gracious and benevolent (again, some would disagree). There are days when her too large heart surprised even herself. 

This was not one of those days. 

It had started out as a good day. The sun was shining, there were no inconvenient clouds dotting the sky. It was the perfect weather for a nap in her favourite spot, on a voluptuous cushion by the herbalist's front door. This spot was her favourite, not only because the sun landed on it just right, but also because it was the best vantage point to glare at any unwanted visitors (most visitors were unwanted in her opinion).  
On this day, the visitors were most definitely unwanted. 

She was lounging about on her cushion, contemplating the idea of a morning nap to start the day, allowing the rays to warm her fur. Her herbalist was in the house preparing Miyuki's plum blossom meal to perfection as always.  
Everything in her little corner of the world was perfect. 

Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation came and ruined her day. 

The ruin came in the form of two Fire Nation soldiers needing a salve for a very weird looking rash. Fire Nation soldiers weren't uncommon, being so close to the Pohuai Stronghold (the rash, on the other hand, was very uncommon). 

First they blocked her sunshine by standing in the doorway, chatting. Being the generous cat she was, she could forgive that.  
But then, then they did something she could not forgive. Something so monstrous that, had she been able to talk, she would have been left speechless.  
Those barbaric, cruel, ungrateful soldiers took her plum blossom meal, her favourite meal in the whole world, the meal which is easily the best part of her day, and they ate it all up, right in front of her. She was so shocked, so horrified she didn't even think to hiss or rip the flesh off their bones with her claws like they deserved. 

It was the gravest insult anyone had ever dared to lay upon her. 

It was on that day she declared the people of the Fire Nation her mortal (and immortal while she was at it) enemies, and she swore she would not rest until vengeance had been unleashed. 

The complete destruction of the Fire Nation seemed like an appropriate revenge. 

She would get right onto that. As soon as her herbalist makes her another bowl of plum blossom. And maybe after a nap. 

Now, admittedly, it had been a few years since she had undertaken a task of this caliber. Destroying a whole nation, even taking into account how amazing she is, was no easy feat. She would have to plan, strategize, find their weaknesses and exploit those weaknesses accordingly. Therefore, she figured she might as well start with some reconnaissance. 

She informed her dear friend, the herbalist, that she would be absent for a few days, having a great task ahead of her. The herbalist gave her an extra serving of plum blossom to fortify her strength and bid her a good journey. 

She waited until dusk, and, by the time the stars were cluttering the sky, she had made it to the Pohuai Stronghold. 

It was time the Fire Nation paid for what it did to her. 

Sneaking into the Pohuai Stronghold was not a difficult task, nor was making her way to the Colonel's office unseen and shredding all important looking documents. It was child's play. Not even the quiet people with the watchful eyes, the facial markings and the arrows noticed her. 

The indignant shouting, once the illegible papers were found, pleased her greatly. 

Colonel Shinu was still shouting at every soldier in sight (she didn't know a human face could turn that particular shade of red, it was fascinating), when she decided to enact Part Two of the plan. 

Dinner. 

They didn't have the necessary ingredients for her customary diet (not that she expected them to, they were, after all, barbarians), therefore she magnanimously settled for eating their fish (not the best fish she's had).  
She ate more than usual that night, she was ravenous after having such an active day. And if she ate her way through their whole stock of fish, leaving nothing but the bones, well, that was her business. 

Had he been consulted, the Stronghold's cook would have vehemently disagreed that it was only her business.  
The cook had not been consulted, and, upon seeing the state of his kitchen, immediately started pointing fingers, throwing accusations at anyone who crossed his path and shouting at a decibel Colonel Shinu could only dream of achieving. 

Miyuki did not stay to hear the rest of the shouting. Instead, she thought it was high time for a post-meal nap. 

She roamed the Stronghold, looking for a suitably comfortable spot for a nap and finally decided on a wardrobe filled with freshly cleaned clothes and linens. After much debate, she managed to find the perfect robe to sleep on. The robe just so happened to be the Colonel's best and most expensive robe only worn on the most special of occasions. Miyuki had always had an eye for quality. 

She enjoyed a nice and long peaceful rest, ignoring the distant voices of the cook and the Colonel who continued screeching well into the night.

* * *

Colonel Shinu was having a bad day. It started out badly when he had received a letter from Commander Zhao (which would ruin anyone's day), and it continued going badly when he came back from overseeing training and found all of his official documents in tattered shreds, littering every surface of his office (unfortunately, Commander Zhao's letter was among the casualties). The day got even worse when he had to comfort a distraught cook who wouldn't stop crying about disappearing fish. 

The Colonel had been so looking forward to that fish. The cook made carp to perfection. 

It took him a whole hour to calm the cook down, only managing it after promising double the number of fish on the next supply run with some fancy spices he'd never heard of thrown in the mix. 

Then he'd had to spend even longer interrogating the soldiers and staff to no avail about the missing fish and the destroyed documents. No suspects. 

The dining hall was quieter than usual that evening as everyone was too busy staring down at the place on their plates where the fish should have been. 

After the disappointment that was dinner and after the gruelling task of gluing back the more pressing documents into coherent pieces (he did not have time to glue Commander Zhao's letter back together), all Colonel Shinu wanted to do was collapse on his nice, soft bed and sleep for as long as his schedule would allow.  
He did just that, not even bothering to undress into something more comfortable, only taking the time to kick off his shoes. 

The thing about Colonel Shinu was that he was meticulous. He was not the type to leave wardrobes open when they had perfectly good doors that could be closed.  
On a normal night, when he wasn't so exhausted, he would have noticed any change in his quarters, no matter how slight. He did not notice the partly open wardrobe that night. He didn't notice it the next morning either, not yet awake enough to notice anything. In fact, he only noticed something was wrong when wide green eyes locked with his still-bleary-from-sleep brown eyes. 

It took a moment for the information to reach his brain; it was still too early for any form of nonsense. He will not admit under pain of death that he let out a very deep and very manly scream when he finally registered what he was seeing. 

The cat, shocked by said very deep and very manly scream, shot out of the wardrobe and raced out of the room by the ways of the door the Colonel had conveniently forgotten to close last night. 

The Colonel had just got out of bed and already he'd had enough. 

* * *

The Yuyan archers were the best of the best. They were some of the most formidable warriors the Fire Nation had to offer. Therefore, when they heard a scream not dissimilar to that of a prepubescent child whose voice hadn't yet broken, they put down what they were doing and raced to the source, bows at the ready. 

When they reached the Colonel's quarters, Archer Lee paused at the door and gave a quick succession of three polite knocks before rushing into the room (manners were important even in life or death situations). Her fellow archers rushed in behind her. 

In the room, they saw Colonel Shinu wide awake, eyes the size of abnormally small saucers and unnecessarily clutching a blanket to his clothed chest. 

Within the blink of an eye, the Colonel's demeanor changed. His eyes returned to their usual size, the blanket returned to the bed, his clothes smoothed over, the wrinkles submitting to the Colonel, his posture returned to the straight backed immaculate posture the archers were used to. In place of a scared, little child, their Commanding office reappeared. 

The Colonel cleared his throat, his back going even straighter (though, physiologically, that shouldn't be possible). 

"There is an intruder in the Stronghold," the Colonel stated. The archers were shocked though their faces barely moved, their eyes just got a millimetre wider. There had never been any intruders, not here.  
"You are to catch this intruder immediately. Under no circumstances can the intruder be allowed to roam our halls a moment longer. If I am correct," which he usually was, he didn't say, "they are behind the destruction of important, classified documents and the consummation of every last morsel of fish." Every archer within hearing distance gave out their equivalent of a horrified gasp (= a slight twitch of the left eyebrow). It was one thing to destroy some random, important documents but to go and deprive them of their weekly fish was a step too far. Whoever they were needed to be stopped. 

The Colonel paced as he remembered every detail that could be useful to apprehending the criminal. 

"The intruder is of short stature, white long hair, light green eyes, pointed ears, and sharp claws," he said. 

The archers looked at one another, confused at the description. Their confusion could easily be spotted by the slight twitch of their right eyebrow. 

Archer Kuzon, the most fearless of the archers (and the most reckless) asked the question no-one else dared. 

"Sir, is this intruder… human?" He asked. Silence followed. None of the archers dared breathe. Archer Lee could see from the corner of her eye some of the archers ever so discreetly inch behind her. She understood the sentiment; she wished someone was between her and the Colonel as well (though that didn't mean she didn't resent them for hiding behind her). 

Colonel Shinu broke the silence by exploding. 

(Those archers had the right idea to hide.) 

"Of course it's not a human!" The Colonel shrieked, "It's a cat! Now hurry up and go do your job! And could someone please get me some chamomile tea!" 

The archers had rarely heard the Colonel get so loud (it was usually after a visit from Commander Zhao, coincidentally). They hurried out of the room. If they had been less graceful people, they would have been tripping over one another to get out there fast enough. As it were, they left in an orderly fashion though admittedly far faster than they had ever gone before. 

How a cat managed to wander into the Pohuai Stronghold without the Yuyan archers noticing was beyond them. Though, they were too busy running away from the Colonel to put much thought into it. 

Archer Lee ordered one of her subordinates to get the Colonel his tea because the Colonel was in a mood and she did not want to be near that. Leading meant she could delegate the things she didn't want to do. 

(And if the person she delegated the task to just so happened to be Archer Ping, one of the archers who hid behind her, well, that was just another coincidence.)

They searched high and low for the cat and found nothing other than the odd fur ball. Archer Ping had to take a midmorning break to settle his poor nerves.  
By lunch time, they had gone through every inch of the Stronghold twice and still no cat. 

As he pieced together another important document, his hands sticky with glue, Colonel Shinu ordered them to check again, and again, and again until they found that blasted cat. He ordered someone to get him more chamomile tea. This would be his sixth cup of the day, and he wasn't feeling even the slightest bit calmer. 

The Colonel stayed in his office to continue gluing the tattered remains of his paperwork together. He had yet to get round to Commander Zhao's letter. 

* * *

Miyuki was having a wonderful time. She was having a blast scurrying from one hidey-hole to the next, never being spotted, watching as the humans with the facial markings rushed around in circles, failing to find her. 

All she needed to do was stay out of sight as they ran themselves ragged. Though it was fun now, she imagined staying hidden as the Fire Nation destroyed itself via exhaustion would be rather dull. 

A new approach was required. She wanted them to know the enemy they faced. Which meant an end to the hiding. 

She waited a day before continuing with her plan, giving them the time to truly tire themselves out. She watched in the darkness as they got more and more frustrated, as the human she assumed was their pride leader grew louder and louder the longer she stayed out of sight. It was amusing to say the least. 

Before carrying on with the plan now known as 'The Plan to Make the Fire Nation Rue the Day It Was Ever Founded' (the name was a work in progress), she made a quick stop to the kitchens which were now heavily guarded. It was laughably easy to penetrate their defences. 

Belly full, she initiated Part Three of The Plan to Make the Fire Nation Rue the Day It Was Ever Founded. 

* * *

Colonel Shinu was not happy, he was very far from happy. He'd had his archers search the Stronghold a whole day with nothing to show for it. What use was commanding some of the most talented, the most legendary warriors of the Fire Nation if they couldn't even find a stray cat. 

It's not like the beast had snuck out of the fortress. He knew she was still within these walls, somewhere, lurking around in his stronghold, mocking them. He knew. 

Furballs littered the floor. Claw marks were found on almost all the furniture including his mahogany desk, a present from his old firebending master which was now unrecognisable under all those scratches.  
Every single item of clothing was covered in cat hairs (of all the times for Bao the seamstress to have gone on a family holiday, this was the worst). No-one was exempt from the fur; the demon creature had somehow managed to slip into every single wardrobe in the Stronghold.  
The cat had even started attacking all the fancy decorations Archer Ping wasn't allowed to touch. Shattered vases, unravelled tapestries. One particularly hideous painting that everybody hated had been destroyed to the point where it actually looked better than its previous state (it was a shame, really, Colonel Shinu had been planning on gifting that painting to Commander Zhao). 

Colonel Shinu ordered everyone to salvage whatever breakables remained and put them under lock and key to be guarded until further notice. By the time he gave out those orders, the number of expensive vases had dwindled greatly.  
There was nothing to be done about the clothes. 

It was a mess. 

And unfortunately, being the Colonel, it was his mess to clean up. 

He needed to convene a war council. This had gone on long enough. 

More importantly, he needed some more chamomile. 

* * *

The war council (or `The Council to Please Get Rid of this Annoying Pest, For the Love of Agni, Please' as it was unofficially titled) consisted of Colonel Shinu's most trusted and competent soldiers. Archer Ping was also present.  
The council spent the whole night planning, going over every possible scenario again and again, analysing every strategy they could think of. By morning, as Agni's first rays touched the Stronghold's walls, they had their plan. 

In the end, they concentrated on the cat's one known weakness. Fish. 

They had the cook go to the market to get his hands on the most beautiful, the most delicious fish he could find. Archer Ping was also sent to the market. He didn't play an integral part in the plan; the Colonel was just sick of hearing about Archer Ping's poor nerves and his delicate constitution. Which was fair.

The cook bought as much fish as he could carry (which was a lot; he was a sturdy man). Ping didn't carry as many (because of the delicate constitution). 

The plan was to have a trail of smaller fish leading to the center of the Stronghold where a much larger pile of the very best fish the market had to offer would be waiting. Above that pile of scrumptious aquatic creatures would be a cage ready to be dropped onto the pile at a moment's notice by Archer Kuzon, therefore trapping whatever creature would be feasting upon the flesh of the fish (i.e. the cat).  
It was a simple plan though that could be forgiven because everyone in the fortress was, by then, suffering from severe sleep deprivation. Though simple, it was a tried and true method that would bring them to success. Hopefully. 

(Really if this didn't work, everyone was pretty sure Colonel Shinu would have a nervous breakdown; Archer Ping might have one as well, but he had one every other week, they were used to it from him). 

With the fish in place, they hid in wait at their designated posts. 

In a perfect world where mahogany desks weren't scratched, where cats didn't become war criminals, where Fire Nation soldiers always got their weekly quota of fish, and where Archer Ping stopped complaining about his poor nerves, in a perfect world like that, the plan would have gone off without a hitch. The cat would have been easily lured into the trap, stuffing herself with fish on the way, all archers would have stayed vigilant, ready to act within a moment's notice, the cage would have been released at the opportune moment, and the cat would have been trapped therefore allowing Colonel Shinu to stop having to consume so much chamomile tea because, quite frankly, there were only so many toilet breaks a Colonel could allow themselves to take. 

This was not a perfect world. 

* * *

Miyuki wasn't a stupid cat, she was very smart, and not very humble about it. She could tell when something was suspicious, and a trail of fish leading deeper into the Stronghold was the definition of suspicious. She knew it would be ill-advised to follow it, she knew. She did it anyway. 

She decided to be cautious and to first inspect the possible trap. She followed the trail, slipping from hiding place to hiding place, not coming out into the open, not touching the ever so tempting fish. She knew there could be eyes on the trail. 

Eventually, she came to the end of the trail, at the heart of the Stronghold. There, waiting for her willing mouth, was the motherload of all motherloads. In the center of the room was a pile of fish, a bigger pile than she'd ever seen in her many years of existence, and at the very top of that pile was the crown jewel of fish. It was huge, at least twice her size. It was the most beautiful fish she had ever come across, and it smelled devine. She imagined it would taste even better. It was a feast in the making. And it was waiting for her. 

She had to have it. 

Though there was the problem of the cage dangling over her future meal, poorly hidden by hanging drapes, as if that could fool her (honestly, human intelligence amazed her sometimes).  
She could smell the fire nation soldiers surrounding the trap.  
Again, she wasn't stupid. 

But that one fish was tempting. So very tempting. And, though her disciple was strong, she wasn't infallible. 

She needed that fish. She needed a plan to get it. 

She sneaked up behind the soldier hidden next to the rope that would bring the cage plummeting to the ground. The soldier was at the ready, brandishing a recently sharpened knife. She stayed out of sight. She waited. 

And waited. 

These humans had all spent the last few days hunting her down with little to no rest. They were exhausted. All of them. 

She waited some more.

It took longer than she thought for the soldier to fall asleep at his post. But eventually he did. The knife fell out of his slack hand. The thud of the knife's impact with the ground didn't wake him; he was too tired. 

It was time. 

She dashed out of her hiding place and sprinted towards the fish. This was her one chance. She had surprise and speed on her side. She could make it. 

In the shadows, the archers watched as the cat raced towards the pile, far faster than they had thought possible for a cat (none of them knew much about cats, though, so who were they to judge). They waited in silence for the cage to go down, but it didn't happen. Kuzon was asleep. 

The cat latched onto the prize fish and quickly dragged it to safety even though, logically, no cat that size should have been able to drag a fish that big. 

Archer Lee, when she realised the cage wouldn't be coming, jumped down from the rafters where she had been hiding and lunged towards the cat. 

Archer Lee made one fatal error. Like everyone else, she was tired. Her body desperately needed sleep. In normal circumstances, she wouldn't have made a sound as she moved, she would have been quieter than the lightest of breezes.These weren't normal circumstances. 

When she jumped from those rafters, Archer Lee landed hard, harder than she had since the days of her training. The impact of her body onto the floor made a loud noise, loud enough to wake up Archer Kuzon in charge of the rope. And upon waking up so suddenly, Archer Kuzon's eyes saw only the cat on the pile of fish, prize fish clutched in between her sharp teeth.

He didn't notice Archer Lee speeding towards the center of the room. He only noticed the cat. 

He grabbed his knife and cut the rope. 

The cage fell. 

The cat leaped off the pile of fish, her prize right where it should be in her mouth. 

Archer Lee leaped as well. 

The cage landed. 

Archer Lee was trapped behind the bars of the cage.

The cat was not. 

The cat ran for it. 

Imagining what Archer Lee would do to him now, Archer Kuzon fainted. 

Their plan was crashing and burning around them with incredible speed. 

* * *

Archer Ping was late. He was very late. If Archer Lee ever found out, she would do unspeakable things to his person and no-one would ever find his remains, that's if Colonel Shinu didn't get to him first (the Colonel was holding onto his last thread of sanity, one more incident and Ping was sure the Colonel would snap and burn the Stronghold to the ground). 

Ping was screwed and he was so, so very late. He'd planned to rest his eyes for a few moments, just a few, then he'd fallen asleep and had had the best, most relaxing and peaceful nap he'd ever had in his life. Then he'd woken up. Late. And whatever peace he'd acquired quickly grew wings and flew away, abandoning him to his fate. 

He raced towards the main hall where their thoroughly thought-out plan was unfolding without Ping. 

He was dead. He was so, so very dead. 

And if they didn't kill him, they'd undoubtedly fire him, and then he'd have to move back in with his mother, and she had been so thrilled for him when he got this job, and she'd be disappointed he'd lost it, and it wouldn't even be the angry type of disappointment, it would be the sad type which was so much worse. 

He heard the chaos before he saw it. The crashing sounds of people falling over one another, frantically racing around with less coordination than headless chickens, trying to catch a cat that was not in the cage where she was supposed to be. 

He reached the main hall, the rest of the chaos unfolded in front of his eyes. 

Everyone was in rapid motion, panicked expressions on all their faces (a slight downturn of the mouth). Archer Kuzon was propped up against the wall, seemingly passed out, being fanned by other archers. Archer Lee, for reasons untold, was in the cat cage, her eyes were ever so slightly narrowed meaning that she was furiously glaring to be let out. The cat was not in the cage with her. 

The plan was not going well. 

(For the love of everything that was good in this world, Ping hoped it wasn't his fault.)

He ran further into the hall, thinking maybe he could somehow help salvage the situation, or at least also run around with less coordination than headless chickens and pretend that he had been there the whole time and had definitely not, under any circumstances, been late. 

He didn't notice the white, fluffy blur until it was too late. 

He tried to stop before crashing into the blur. His foot landed on a fish. He slipped. He fell. 

It was a graceless fall. He crashed to the ground with all the elegance of a whale-walrus on dry land or of a ballet dancing goat-gorilla in a tutu at a dance recital after having missed most of the practice sessions due to an ongoing cold.

Suffice to say, it wasn't pretty. 

If he were prone to exaggeration (which he was) he would say he felt every one of his vital organs whoosh up towards his throat only to come plummeting back down towards his lower body as he became intimately acquainted with the floor; he was sure his very bones rattled upon impact.

At that moment, as his organs returned to their regular positions, salvation showed its gorgeously radiant face and sympathetically smiled down at him. 

The cat crashed into him. 

When Archer Ping slipped on that fish and fell to the ground, the cat had tried to stop, she had tried to avoid barrelling into, what was her opinion, a great big oaf. Had it just been her, she would have managed to stop or she could have elegantly jumped over Archer Ping's crumpled body. But, in her mouth, was the treasure of all fish. And the treasure of all fish was bigger than her. And so all that extra fishy weight forced her forward, making it impossible for her to stop, making her crash straight into Archer Ping's surprised arms.

Archer Ping may not have been the smartest in the Pohai Stronghold. Or the most competent. Or the most graceful. Or the fastest. Or the strongest. Or the anything, really. But even he knew not to waste his luck. That fish was the cat's downfall, but it could be Archer Ping's salvation.  
He latched onto the cat and held on for dear life. That did not please Miyuki, and Miyuki was not the type to go down without a fight. 

She thrashed as much as the restraining arms would permit, wiggling about, trying to escape to no avail. Finally, in an act of desperation, she let go of her prize fish. It was the hardest decision she had ever made.  
And that's when the claws and teeth came out to play. She was going for blood. She scratched and bit at every bit of skin she could reach, digging her claws and teeth in deep at every strike. 

Archer Ping did not let go, he knew that if he did, Archer Lee and Colonel Shinu would make him regret the day he had ever left his mother's small home in the countryside to become a Yuyan Archer. He held on through the pain. 

His existence depended on it. 

* * *

Sandpaper in hand, the Colonel was on his knees trying to smooth over the scratch marks on his once beautiful mahogany desk (to no avail) when archers Lee, Ping and Kuzon marched into his office. 

Colonel Shinu didn't know what to say. There were so many things to say that he didn't know where to begin. 

So he said nothing. Instead, he stared silently at the wreck in front of him. 

His two best archers and Archer Ping were standing on the other side of his desk, more silent than usual, all of them had their gaze directed a millimetre below his eyes. Not even Archer Kuzon, normally verging on the line of insolence, dared to look at him in the eye. They were ashamed.  
The only sound in his office was the constant outraged hissing coming from the cage in Archer Ping's hand, the cage Ping kept well away from his body as white paws weaselled their way out from between the bars, slashing at air. 

Colonel Shinu's archers were a mess. Archer Lee had an impressive ever growing bump on the crown of her head. Archer Kuzon had a darkening bruise on the side of his face. Archer Ping was the worst off, having scratch marks all over his body, blood oozing out of most of them, his clothes in tatters. 

From their appearances, Colonel Shinu could gather the plan had not gone well. 

The silence dragged on. The archers stayed still as a rock, Archer Ping didn't seem to be breathing. The cat continued to hiss. 

Yuyan archers weren't in the habit of squirming under pressure but the Colonel imagined they so dearly wanted to. 

Shinu continued to stare at the three of them, waiting to see which one of them would fold under the heavy silence. 

Archer Ping cracked first. Unsurprisingly. 

In one gigantic burst of words, he told the Colonel everything. He told Shinu about Kuzon falling asleep at his post only to wake up and release the cage onto Archer Lee's head, trapping Archer Lee on the inside while the cat made her escape on the outside. He said Kuzon was overcome with horror upon realising what he'd done, and subsequently fainted, knocking his face against the wall on the way down. Ping told the Colonel about how Ping had slipped on a fish and fell in the cat's way, about how he had managed to catch the cat while he was down, about how the other archers got the cage off of a struggling Archer Lee, and, with much effort, how Archer Ping had managed to wrestle the cat into the cage, locking it away from the outside world.

(Archer Ping failed to mention he had overslept and had therefore been late to his post. He figured that detail was irrelevant.) 

Colonel Shinu, for once, was impressed by the usually incompatent Archer Ping. Less impressed by Archer Kuzon (Archer Lee was still his favourite despite this mishap). 

"Now what to do with the beast?" Colonel Shinu asked himself. 

"If I may, Colonel," Archer Lee spoke up. Shinu motioned for her to continue. "I have seen this cat before. I believe it belongs to the herbalist who lives at the top of the mountain," Archer Lee said. 

"The crazy old lady who made us lick frozen frogs?“ The Colonel asked. Admittedly, the frozen frogs had worked, but the Colonel had decided to be bitter towards anyone who made him lick amphibians. 

Archer Lee nodded on conformation. 

The Colonel's day worsened yet again. 

He finished his cup of tea and got up. He suspected chamomile no longer worked on him. 

* * *

They left for the herbalist's home immediately. The colonel did not want that demon cat in his Stronghold a moment longer. He escorted the cat himself. There were enough archers for a whole unit accompanying them for the drop. Colonel Shinu was not taking any chances. The cat had caused too much trouble to risk an escape. 

They made their way up the mountain where the herbalist lived. Deep throated growling, livid hissing and indignant glaring accompanied them every step of the way. 

Archer Ping volunteered to carry the cage the whole way. The Colonel had said he should go to the infirmary and have all of his cuts and bite marks looked at (of which there were many). Ping had insisted on coming, stating that, having caught the cat, he felt honour bound to see this mission through to the very end. 

Colonel Shinu was starting to see Archer Ping in a much better light. He had not thought Archer Ping was such a noble and conscientious person. Perhaps he had been mistaken about Ping's character. 

(In fact, the Colonel had not been mistaken about Ping's character, he was actually dead on. Ping was ingratiating himself to the Colonel to minimize whatever punishment would come his way if anyone ever became aware of his tardiness.) 

When they arrived at the house, the herbalist was outside, mixing ingredients together. 

The Colonel got off his lizard rhino and stepped forth. 

She looked up from her poultice, and her eyes widened. 

"Miyuki? Is that you?" The old lady asked. 

The cat, Miyuki, stopped hissing long enough to meow plaintively at the herbalist. 

"Miyuki! I've been looking all over for you. Where on earth have you been?" The herbalist walked up to the Colonel and shaked his hands profusely (Colonel Shinu hid a wince; she was surprisingly strong). "Thank-you for finding her. I'm so very grateful to you." She shook the Colonel's hand one last time before letting go. 

She went to the cage still held by Archer Ping and, without warning, opened the latch. None of the archers were fast enough to stop her.  
Miyuki leaped out of the cage, landing on the ground softly. All archers flinched away, unwilling for their skin to end up like Archer Ping's. Only the Colonel stood his ground through sheer force of will. 

The archers' caution was unnecessary. Miyuki simply walked away, turning back long enough to hiss at the Fire Nation soldiers before she laid down on her favourite cushion by the door, closing her eyes and ignoring everyone around her. 

"Oh, I'm so very sorry about her," the herbalist said earnestly, "You see, she gets awfully worked up when she doesn't get her plum blossom." 

The herbalist placed a bowl of plum blossom in front of the cat. Miyuki got up from her cushion and ate her food, hissing at the Fire Nation soldiers in between mouthfuls. 

The Colonel tried to tell the herbalist about all Miyuki's crimes against the Fire Nation, insisting on the time wasted, the money necessary for repairs, all those priceless vases broken and his large list of sleep deprived soldiers, a lot of whom have been personally traumatised by her vicious cat. 

The key word here is that he _tried_ to tell her. 

No matter how much he insisted, how much he repeated himself, the herbalist wouldn't stop thanking him for finding and bringing home _her dear sweet little Miyuki because, you see, Colonel, Miyuki doesn't like to venture too far away from home, the outside world unsettles her, you see_. She kept interrupting his monologue to tell him he was such a sweet young man for having done this (some of the more observant archers noticed a slight reddening of the Colonel's cheeks after that praise). She told him she was sure Miyuki must be so very grateful for his help (Miyuki was not grateful, the Colonel knew that much). The herbalist even offered her healing services to the soldiers of the Pohai Stronghold free of charge (her services were already free). 

No matter how many times the Colonel tried to tell her of the damages done to his fortress, of the price of those damages, he never managed to finish a sentence. She offered him various herbal remedies for various illnesses, a lot of which he'd never heard of, some of which he was pretty sure she had made up (she had). She cut him off again and again, her voice never verging away from grateful and earnest. 

He gave up trying to speak, letting her talk and talk and talk whilst he stood there, regretting various life decisions that have led him to this place, wishing he was back in his office, gluing fragments of paperwork together. 

The sun had moved considerably in the sky by the time he and his soldiers left the herbalist's home. The komodo-rhinos were loaded down with herbs, poultices and healing teas, all of which he had tried and failed to refuse (though he really wanted to try some of those calming teas she had given him).  
She gave them a final thank-you as she waved goodbye. The cat hissed one last time. And finally, finally the Colonel and his archers were on their way back to the Stronghold. 

Once seated back in his office in front of his hundreds of strips of paperwork, Colonel Shinu vowed to himself he would not step foot on that mountain again. Though he would later send Archer Kuzon up there for more of those calming teas because, after the rope inside, Kuzon was no longer Colonel Shinu's second favourite Archer. 

(The number one favourite has and will always be Archer Lee.) 

The position of second favourite now belonged to Archer Ping who could no longer do any wrong in Colonel Shinu's eyes (though he would, in fact, do many wrongs, most of them involuntary). Colonel Shinu was so grateful for Archer Ping's success in catching the cat (i.e. falling on the cat) that, not long after the incident, he gave Archer Ping a promotion (everyone including Archer Ping thought this was a terrible idea). 

(Colonel Shinu was so busy organising a party in honour of Archer Ping that he had little time for anything else. Commander Zhao's letter went unanswered.)

* * *

Miyuki couldn't believe she'd gotten caught. She'd been so close. The fish had been in her mouth. Escape had been in sight. Then her plan had gone to the dogs. All because of one clumsy idiot. And then she had had to suffer through the indignation of being stuffed in a cage.  
How dare they. 

_How dare they_.

She will not let this affront go unpunished. She would have to think of some other way for the Fire Nation to pay. The Plan to Make the Fire Nation Rue the Day It Was Ever Founded will be a success. She needed a new strategy, more dastardly than the last. Maybe a new plan name, too. 

The herbalist placed another bowl of plum blossom in front of Miyuki. It was the least Miyuki deserved after the ordeal she'd been through. 

"Better luck next time, Miyuki," the herbalist said as she kindly fluffed Miyuki's cushion for her and placed it in a sunbeam. 

Miyuki ate her plum blossom and laid down in the sun. 

She would get the Fire Nation eventually. Next time, she would just have to be more careful. Before that, though, she would step back from the eyes of the Fire Nation, lull them into a false sense of security. There was no rush; Myuiki had been blessed with more time than most cats usually got. She could play the long game. One day, she would make the Fire Nation suffer unimaginable inconveniences. 

But at the moment, it was time for a nap.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few little notes:  
> The whole line about Archer Ping's "poor nerves" was borrowed from Mrs Bennet in Pride and Prejudice.  
> The humans with the facial markings are the Yuyan Archers.
> 
> Also, I will, at one point, be writing a sequel to this story but the sequel will definitely not be canon compliant. So if you're not into that, you can just completely ignore the sequel and pretend this fic is a stand-alone.


End file.
